Reunion...Of a different sort.. {Zadiken}

[Kaliana Justice]

Lana looked at Zadiken knowing that she had confused him, and more than likely hurt him with the sudden application of the breaks. Feeling extremely pissed at herself for doing that, she moved toward him and took his bag from his hands and dropped it behind the door. A thought just struck her..... He hadn't any living quarters assigned yet as since she was the main reason for this, she looked at him and said, " Until we can get everything figured out you can use one of the spare rooms in my quarters...... if you like. If not then I'll figure something out temporarily."

A somewhat wicked grin flashed across her face when she realized what it seemed like she was trying to imply...why not let him get that impression? she wondered to herself.

Sure she had her mind made up now, she looked up at him and wrapped her arms around his neck and flicked her wrist to change the song to a different one. As the music filled the air she fit herself to him and started to sway suggestively. Waiting to see how he would react, she laid her head on his shoulder to softly kiss his neck. Then said slowly, "So, Zadiken, what exactly do you want from me? And, I'm sorry.....But I can't offer you undying love right at this moment, I have more wounds than you think that need to heal"

[Zadiken Anvion]

Of course. Wounds to heal. Women were so God Damned complex. He sighed loudly and smiled, shaking his head and looked at her. "Babe, you've always been the confusing one... he smiled. He put his finger under her chin and raised his eyebrow. "If you were to find out something... more accommodating, per say, where would you suggest?" he smirked and crossed his arms, looking into her eyes. He knew what she meant. He knew most likely, he wouldn't even see her bedchambers. At this moment, he didn't care. He stalled for time. He wanted to be near her, close to her warmth. He didn't even want the fantastic love they made when they were together... just her.
He stifled what would have been a loud yawn and raised his hand up to his mouth, looking out at the night sky for a second out of the window they were standing next to. Such pristine skies, untouched by clouds, revealing the sparkle of stars that would shine down upon them in the castle. A lovely night, cool, breezy, and bright. He turned back to Lana, looking into her eyes and seeing the same sparkle he used to, the sparkle that made him abandon his skirt chasing in the first place. Mixed feelings permeated him like a white hot blade of steel, love for her, hate for himself, anxiety over the situation rising within him like stomach acid. His heart pounded in his chest as he took a breath, losing his sardonic attitude, and finally caving. "I admit, sleeping with you would be... great. Amazing, even, but I can't see myself doing that to you. I have to prove to you that I want more than just physical with you. That there are strings attached." he looked down and closed his eyes. How could she believe him? No way. He left her all those years ago, and now coming back like this? Impossible. He felt like crap... this feeling of dread rising in his throat as he said those last words was almost viral. His heart now pounded so hard that he could hear it. His whole body ached with anxiety, almost panic. Why? Why is he doing this? Would she just drop him like he did her?

Is he going to pay for what he did 14 years ago?

[Kaliana Justice]

Lana stopped moving suggestively to the music and saw that her tactic had backfired. "Me, the confusing one? Oh, yeah.. Okay.. We'll go with that. Because right now I'm thrown for a loop. I thought you wanted this..." she blanched as she indicated her form. " I can see I was wrong. As for the 'other arrangements, I have a spare room off my living quarters that you can occupy for the time being if that suits you."

She let herself feel the exhaustion and crazed tension beating against every inch of her body and almost buckled at the knees. Men, they want one thing and when you go to give it to them, they shoot you down..... She sighed as she started waving her wand around to shut blinds and lower the lights in the office in preparation for going to her quarters for the night. She turned back to Zadiken and almost wavered at telling him to go sleep with the slugs on the dungeon floor for the night.. He'd cut her deep telling her that he didn't want even one night of tension clearing attentions from her after he had been leading up to that from the beginning of walking on to the grounds..

She felt an ache in two very different parts of her body, one that still had to heal, and one that apparently would be brushed off for a long time yet. She gathered her robes that she had draped over the chair and hung it on the rack beside a door leading off of her office in the opposite direction as the one with the winding staircase. She started to kick off her shoes and motioned to Zadiken, "All of my chambers are through here, the spare one is the one across the short hall to my bedchambers, drop your stuff there if you'd like."

She finished kicking off her shoes and started undoing the row of buttons running half way down her tank as she started down the short hall, not caring if he was following or not. She undid the button of her jeans just before she reached the door to her wash chamber, letting them ride low on her hips to the point of falling off, as she pushed the door open uncaring if it closed behind her or not. As she flicked her hand to turn the water on to just below scalding she threw all of her clothes in to a hamper that was by the door and stepped under the running water closing her eyes in delight. She heard a door close yet didn't bother to look to see if the door leading to her was indeed closed or not. After all, he'd seen all there is to her a long time ago. She let all the exhaustion be washed down the drain as she grabbed the body wash that was scented like chocolate cherries.... the one indulgence she carried from her time in the muggle world.

[Zadiken Anvion]

"Hrrrrrrrmmmmm......." Zadiken watched her go down the hall removing her clothes and groaned. Loudly. In absolute frustration.

Jesus Christ.

He stood there, contemplative, hearing her run her bath and smelling chocolate cherries waft out of the hallway. He gritted his teeth, having noticed her form, her figure, unchanging from the years.

Christ.

He walked down the hall, and peeked into his chambers, seeing everything set up for sleep, in case of close guests. Not bad. But...
He turned and looked into her quarters, and saw a large, comfortable bed that didn't seem like it belonged. A nice, obvious woman's touch. He knew she liked big beds, she always had talked about wanting some "Damned ROOM to move around" while she slept. It was cute. Almost unbearably cute.
He shook off the memory and walked to the bath chambers, peeking in the door. She was indeed in the bath, eyes closed, relaxing.

...Ch-.

"Screw this." he said, walking back down the hall and running his fingers through his snow white hair. He looked out the windows, his mouth dry, his brain working at five thousand kilometers per hour. He didn't know what to do. He di-.

But then, he did. Why hide? Why... hide himself from her? Why does he have to be uncertain when he wasn't? Who the hell did she think he was?

He walked back down the hall and went into her bed chambers, closing the door, and plopping down on her bed, hands behind his head, legs crossed, and looking up at the ceiling. He smirked as he would then hear her prepare to get out of the bath, and awaited her opening her door to see him laying there, awaiting her to come in.

Let's see how she reacts to this!

[Kaliana Justice]

Lana stood under the hot spray long enough that even the supposedly endless supply of magically hot water began to run icy. Figuring that she would eventually become so exhausted she would drown just in the spray, she stepped out and toweled off the excess water and lathered lotion in the same chocolate cherry scent of the soap she'd used and washed her face. Knowing she had put off the dreaded night alone in her giant bed long enough, she opened the connecting door to her bedchambers and flicked her wrist to change the stone ceiling to that of a starry night sky, complete with a few shooting stars on which she could wish if she so chose.

Lana noticed a strange scent, at least a scent that was strange to her room, as she made her way through the door not even glancing at the offending bed as she made her way to the wardrobe to get some night clothes. Shutting the drawer she turned to place it on the foot of the bed while she ran a brush through her hair. As she saw the bed wasn't as unoccupied as she had first assumed, she raised her eyebrow and sighed, " I assume your chambers were not to your liking? Or you just assumed that after changing your mind and shutting me down I'd want to see you in my bed?"

Turning to her dressing table, she picked up the brush and started to detangle her hair more roughly than needed. When she was done she went to the bed and picked up the nightie she had placed there and shoved it over her head and placed her feet in her warm slippers. While waiting for him to answer she went to the cupboard and poured her another indulgence from the muggle world, Baileys. Ohh so good.

[Zadiken Anvion]

Zadiken awaited her, not really expecting anything more than to just sleep there. Sure, he wanted her, but... that was up to her.

"Listen, babe, I'm gonna be straight with you. It's been a long and confusing day for the both of us... I'm not going to just... jump in the sack with you unless we're sure that if it grows into anything else... we'll be ready for it." he looked up at her, and smiled. He rolled so he would be facing her, watching her put her nightie on and go to a cabinet. He sat up, kicking his boots off as they landed on the floor with a soft thud, and removed his jacket, setting them by the bed as well. He spun around, holding his feet as he sat criss cross applesauce on the bed, smiling up at her as he realized she had poured herself a glass of some mocha smelling drink. the aroma reached him and he could smell the alcohol in it. He raised an eyebrow, wondering what the new drink was, then pushed the question aside, asking "I see your love for Chocolate Cherries hasn't changed."
He looked at her and let his eyes wander over her figure once more, then back to her face, looking and making sure she had enough room to sit. "All these years... to think I though there was a kid out there that was mine..." he shook his head, and looked up at her. "I was a fool to leave you." he said, and once again, he meant it. He knew he was in love then... what chased him away? What could have happened if she actually had the kid? No telling... and he didn't usually dabble in what-ifs, but this was different... she was his life once, and he threw it away. He threw it all away. Sure, he became famous for his revival of Alchemy, his adept swordplay, but that wasn't enough for him... he strove to make himself bigger in the eyes of one person... her. He hoped she'd find him through his popularity, but... she had spent all those years in the muggle world...
"...Lana. I'm sorry." he said silently, looking down.

[Kaliana Justice]

Lana turned with a rocks glass half full of the liquor drink, and stared at Zadiken with a look of shocked amazement. Not going to jump between the sheets huh? she thought. " If that wasn't your intentions, then why exactly are you here, in my chambers or more specifically my bed and apparently taking clothes off? We both know there is a tension here that's not going to abate and let us focus our attentions anywhere else until we clear the air."

Resigned to feeling unfulfilled and perhaps utterly frustrated since the object of her frustrations was currently taking up residence in her bed and apparently in no hurry to move. She raised the cup to her mouth and downed half her drink in one gulp, wishing and hoping it would dull something, anything. Feeling a slight buzz starting between her ears, she refills her glass to half full and downs it yet again. Realizing that she had started falling back into the alcohol trap she'd worked so hard to get out of when he'd left her, she put the glass down with a smack. " Yes, I still adore chocolate, no matter what form it comes in." she admitted.

Moving to the bed she plops on the bed, half out of disorientation and half out of exhaustion. Looking back at Zadiken, she groans and places two fingers on either temple. " So, why don't we save us both more exhaustive time, and get this out of the way.? I've learned to take what comes, and take what I want when it's offered. Where we go after, is up to both of us. Why not live for the here and now?" she says exasperated. She wasn't the only confusing one here. Feeling utterly abashed for not trying to contact him after she had indeed learned that she was not with child, she placed her hand on his leg and apologized for the first time in a long time, "I am sorry that when I learned I wasn't........ That I didn't try to contact you.. But I had no idea where you went, or even if you would want to see me after all that." She gave him a half drunk flirtatious smile and leaned back to calm her swimming head. Boy! She hadn't drank for some time, though she kept her favorite pitfall in her room, and waited for what was coming.

[Zadiken Anvion]

Looking at her quizzically, he noticed that only after two or three actual drinks, she stood there with an incredulous, and slightly drunk look on her face that spoke absolute paragraphs on how she felt.

That's right, bitch, I'm not going anywhere.

He layed there and smirked when she said something about clearing the air.

"Fine. Let's 'clear the air' as you say, and we'll see where you want to go afterward. I don't seriously think we're going to go anywhere else until we cure ourselves of this near twenty year drought." he said, with a slightly bitter tone to his voice. True. It had been nearly that long since he had even had anything of the sort. He wasn't into prostitution, for sure, and he didn't dabble in the dickery known as "friends with benefits", but he had been kneed in the jewels enough times (in attempts to chase women away that were less than tasteful, successfully, though with a price of pain) to know that most likely, if it wasn't for magic, they probably wouldn't even work, let alone be attached anymore.

Either way, half drunk, in a nightie, the love of his life was practically begging him to go one way or the other. Nodding her head (her whole body, actually) towards the one way that would get them tangled in the sheets, gasping for air as everything comes to a calm end. Was he nice enough to comply?

No. He isn't stupid enough to refuse a half drunk witch who was damn good in Charms. Last thing he needed was her charming the hair off of his body.

So, he sighed, keeping the amused smile on his face and he shrugged. "Alright. Bring it." he said, opening his arms.


-----Fading out now. Drunken witches tend to get very very very physical starting off. /experience--------

[Kaliana Justice]

------fade in------

Lana awoke with a jolt, only half remembering the night and early morning before, and sent an amused look over her shoulder at a still snoring Zadiken. The saying that things have a way of getting better with age is sooo true she thought. Then with the slow recognition that a hang over had left her with, she realized that it was almost mid day. She rolled over and slapped him on the chest left bare by the sheets and said with a rushed tone, " Zadiken, wake up! We fell asleep!"

She rushed to turn on the shower for it to warm up the chilly room before climbing in herself, and grabbed her clothes for the day on the way through. Not really paying attention to the fact that it appeared she hadn't been successful in waking Zadiken, she ran under the shower relishing the liquid heat as it soothed any left over knots from the exhausting day before. Washing with the same chocolate body wash, and lathering the lotion scented the same, she stood still dripping water while she ran a comb through her mess of hair.

"Zadiken! Get your lazy rear out of my bed and get dressed, we're late!" She screamed, trying yet again to get a response out of him. Then, her face paled as she realized something drastically important from the night before, not knowing how to successfully bring it up to the man she had lost for the same reason, once, a long time ago. She walked back to her bedchambers with leaden steps. Waiting on a stir from the immovable object in the middle of her bed, she gently shook him.

[Zadiken Anvion]

He ignored the slap to the chest and the scream. If she wanted to wake him up, she should know to ask nicely. Like, really. So, he continued to lay there, while she showered, and snapped his fingers, his clothes and boots floated over and set on his side of the bed. He then laid there and half went to sleep again, until she walked in and gently shook him.

There. That was better.

He opened his eyes and smiles, reaching up and touching her face. "See? Now that wasn't so dif f i c u l t..." he slowed the pronunciation of "difficult" due to the look on her face. Kind of a strained... fear. What?

He slowly sat up, looking at her with concern. "...Are you ok?" he asked quietly. She only had like, three drinks. Three, that he counted. She couldn't have been far enough gone to just realize what had happened. They spent most of the night afterward reminiscing about old times, until they both trailed off to sleep midsentence. It was a rather paperback moment, both of them, laying there in each other's arms. What could possibly be wrong?

He touched her face again, and looked her in the eyes. "Tell me."

[Kaliana Justice]

She attempted a smile that came out more a grimace than anything else. She again looked to the window and noted with disdain that the day was indeed moving forward without them. She looked into his ice blue eyes and said, trying to brush off the feeling of dread, "We're late, you've missed your first class, and I had a meeting I should have attended. In fact we both should have attended."

She hadn't just come to realize what had happened the night before, more like what had not, and she felt the icy fingers of fear clawing their way around her heart. What would he do if she said anything? What would he do if she didn't and something came of it? She turned away from him, fully facing the rising sun and said with a grim tone, "Last night was amazing, I feel less stressed... Or did.... You remember me telling you I haven't had anyone willingly since you, and no one since I had come back to the magical world... Will be 2 years in a week. Well, I haven't had the need of prevention... And last night, I wasn't protected for that reason..." She felt her stomach lurch at what she figured was to come, him picking up his things and leaving yet again because of her screw up. She got up and proceeded to finish the dressing ritual that she'd started before realizing her dreaded screw up. The only indication that she'd made another realization was a slight hitch in her step before reaching the door way. Their timing was perfect.. Perfectly wrong.. She was putting a short braid in her brown hair, not paying attention to the passage of time before she realized she'd been standing there for an hour. Waiting...

[Zadiken Anvion]

Zadiken had been sitting there for that hour, deep in thought. She was deaf to everything, and he knew if he had said anything, she probably wouldn't have heard him, or believed him. Either way, he was glad that she didn't kick him out. During that time, he had gotten his clothes on, clasping the clasps on the front of his vest, and sliding his trench coat over his shoulders. He had plenty of time to think, to wonder. Of course, wondering was the one clear give away.

He hadn't thought to protect himself either.

Then again, in the throes of passion, who does? He couldn't blame her for freaking out, but he needed to be there for her. He walked into the bathroom and reached up, placing a hand on her arm. He closed his eyes and pulled her close to him, both arms around her and placed a hand on her stomach.

"I'm not running away this time." he said quietly, leaning his forehead gently on the back of her head.

He closed his eyes, his mind racing, his thoughts never staying in one place. What else could he do but hold her? But hold her he will... until the end of time.

[Kaliana Justice]

Lana had been so completely lost in her own thoughts she had slightly forgotten about Zadiken being anywhere near let alone in her bed so him coming up behind her startled her into a yelp. Once her mind came back to the present and realized what had happened while she'd been off in her own little world both shock and fear crossed her features mixed with a tiny bit of excitement. Her hands stilled as they were working on what was supposed to be a braid, yet had come out a twisted knot in her absentmindedness and she watched his hesitant actions as he wrapped his arms around her. Upon feeling his hand slide to her stomach she started to pull away, or faint, which ever came first.

She hit the floor with a resounding thud and sent and astonished look up at the man who used to be the love of her life while saying, "Wait.... Say that again? I don't think I heard you, or at least heard right. I just told you I fucked up, I didn't take any preventative measures to keep you from getting me pregnant, why aren't you long gone by now?" She attempted to pull herself to a standing position facing him using the counter, which back fired drastically because that put her close enough to him to feel buckles in his vest and see his ice blue eyes too clearly for her comfort. She worked her way from between him and the counter while grabbing the stranded hair brush to fix her matted mane as she made her way on still wobbly legs to sit on the bed and pull herself back to the here and now, not the decade ago she had begun to replay.

Waiting on Zadiken to decide, or to realize exactly what she'd told him, and to flee like she'd expected him to, she tore the brush through her hair with a fierceness she didn't really feel, daring the tangled web to rebel. Running on pure adrenaline, which was running low she felt tears beginning to manifest themselves and dropped the brush on the bed with a muffled thump, she broke. Tears came streaming down her cheeks, those from years past mixed with the ones from the now as she shook with the emotions she was weary of holding back. Plainly giving up and letting the ride take her where ever it chose, she laid her head on the pillow she had vacated so long ago and wrapped her arms around the one her lover had left, still smelling him she wept figuring he was long gone.

Gone was the harsh, yet understanding headmistress and in her place was the girl of seventeen but also the woman of today, brokenhearted and spent, clinging on to the one thing she hoped would have come true. After a while, who knows how long had past, the fact that she had missed ever class she usually visited, and most likely every meal of the day meant little to her other than the nagging feeling of dropped responsibilities. She laid there and stared at the wall, waiting on the onslaught to quiet or to just give up and sleep.

[Zadiken Anvion]

Zadiken watched as she fell, panicking and trying to catch her as she hit the floor, but missed. The thud made him feel sick, thinking that she had gotten hurt from the fall. He watched in sadness as she broke, her resolve, her mind weakening and breaking under the sudden pressure. He tried to help her up and listened to what she said, how she had 'fucked up', but that's not what he thought at all. She didn't. Not in his eyes. She laid down on the bed and started weeping, silently sobbing in a position that reminded him of one of the times a Horse had wandered on the grounds somehow and was killed by a Hippogriff. She couldn't stop crying. Her life was horses, and she had loved them even more than wizardry itself. Zadiken found this beautiful, and supported it, convincing her that it was fine to love something outside of their normal dealings with wizardry and witchcraft.

He laid next to her and wrapped his arms around her, feeling her tremor with mixed emotions that he couldn't even begin to fathom. How could he even begin to help? He had no idea, other than to remain here with her, unlike before. He didn't even know what to say. Remembering all those years ago, he closed his eyes, holding her shaking form close to him, not letting go. Years had passed, but one thing remained unchanged...

He loved her. And would endeavor to take care of her from now on, no matter what.

"...I love you, Lana."

[Kaliana Justice]

Through her quaking sobs and mind that was in a far away place, she somehow felt the bed give as he laid behind her though it didn't register to her bogged down mind. Her body instinctively turned so that she was cradled against his chest that felt strong as steel under her soaked skin. Continuing to sob slightly she felt the weight of 20 men on her shoulders and couldn't rid herself of it. Leaning on the only person she had in her youth, and it seemed had started to again, she looked up into eyes filled with worry and something else.... Something she hadn't seen in anyone else's, could it be love? Or was if the lust they had confused for it so many years ago? She forced the sobs to quiet and stifled the tears as she whispered, "Zadiken, I did screw up, like I had all those years ago. I'm sorry. I didn't want history to repeat itself and I have probably trapped you here with something you truly don't want... I remember you saying those years ago that you didn't want kids."

Feeling forlorn and stricken with a sudden bout of stomach sickness, brought on by her fiercely racking sobs, she rushed to the wash chambers and heaved her already empty stomach dry. Stress + hang over + very emotional morning did not bode well with her, never had. Needing something to wet her scorched throat but not desiring to move from her current pedestal on the cool floor she rested her throbbing head against the cool counter behind her and moaned a very sickly moan.

Needing to rid herself of the many years of back emotional baggage she had been unknowingly carrying around for a decade, she stood up to disrobe and again stepped in the steaming water that she'd charmed into a pounding spray to knead away at least a few of the many tensed muscles that had worked into a knot. Who was she kidding, she was one big knot. You did it, you stupid idiot, you did it again. You finally got back the person you'd been searching for your entire adult life, and you throw him away like yesterday's garbage over a roll in the hay?! Where was your head?!! She thought to herself while her pounding head matched the beat of the water. A new wave of sobs racked her already battle weary body yet she forced them back down. It was her fault after all. She was the one who didn't have a clear head last night, she'd let her emotions be clouded by alcohol and now she must pay.

Forcing herself to step from the shower that had begun to run cold, she dried off and stepped into her chambers wrapped in a fluffy purple towel that dwarfed her slender body. She looked at Zadiken, surely taken aback by her overly emotional responses since they had woken up and sighed. Squaring her shoulders slightly she said, "....I love you too Zadiken, you were my first, and I haven't loved any one since you. But we don't know if we can even work out this time. I am not going to force you to stay here just because of the possibility. I can't do that to you." Her eyes seemed to lose more of their ever present sparkle as she said the last part, and sank heavily onto the edge of the bed.